Guilt is a powerful emotion and can never do anyone any good.  I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but many have people have contributed to my irrational behaviour that takes hold of me every now and then. When people tread all over another person just for kicks or because they are mean nasty people, they don’t seem to realize the scares they leave behind. Or maybe they don’t care. 

My point is, scares can become wounds again when one continues to allow any kind of abuse to continue. My biggest issue is beating myself up inside for things that were not in my control and then sometimes losing control and thrashing out in ways that are unspeakable. 

Help, you say I need? I have sought help in the past. Yet no one seems to be able to take away the torment of my own thoughts, my own guilt of things I can’t or couldn’t control. Only I can do that. I find that if I meditate, it helps, so that is what I have begun to do again. I hope to find peace so that I can, once again, live with myself.