There are four types of abuse, physical, sexual, mental, and emotional. The first two are easier to report as generally they leave scars but the last two, especially when coupled with the first two and there are no physical scars, can be the worst determining factor for others to acknowledge.

If you have ever been trapped by a narcissist who uses flying monkeys to create a delusional reality to which they generally will turn against you, you are not alone.

Personally, I have had narcissists in my life since day one. Through learning the ins and outs of narcissism through Dr. Ramani, and others, I have concluded that they are the nastiest, cruellest form of human being there is, especially when you figure out what is going on.

Recently, I have been put into a position that reflects this. I exposed myself to a psychopath because he gave the impression that he was changing and didn’t want anything to do with the meth friends he had. Little did I know that he would knock me down to the point of survival, getting us kicked out of my apartment during COVID, and finding ways to continue his verbal abuse of me. Furthermore, he made it a point to display me as a schizophrenic who was paranoid, delusional, and in need of medication. I still cannot go to a medical doctor without them trying to give me anti-psychotic pills to “make me better”.

What I have learned:

I have, in the past, gone to psychiatrists throughout my life believing these stories that there was something wrong with me mentally. Every time they said that I was suffering from PTSD, but otherwise there is nothing wrong with me mentally. In other words, I do not suffer from schizophrenia, I am not paranoid, I am not delusional. I am aware of the games these people play, so-called friends, family members and co-workers. They seem to enjoy putting me down and letting me take the blame for behaviour the deduce to be abnormal. None of them have a degree in psychology or psychiatry. Most aren’t even educated. To boot, I was told that I should not seek out authorities or become educated. I often wondered why. I believe some may legitimately be trying to help me, even though I do not need their help, but I strongly believe most are hiding something. So, I stay away from them.

Every time I find someone to confide in, who may understand my dilemma, I later find they are doubting me and again suggesting there is something mentally wrong with me. I do not believe this anymore. So, I stay isolated with only a couple of friends that are out of reach of these narcissists and flying monkeys who continue to spread negative connotations about who they think I am. Only one member of my family knows me but there are many who paint a picture, stuff me into a category and continue to paint this picture to everyone I know.

This is the mind trap.

It is meant to make me feel anxious, afraid, helpless, hopeless, in need of people who can make it all better!

Not going to happen. I do not believe anyone can make anyone feel anything. You, and I, are responsible for our own feelings as individuals. Like Dr. Ramani says, don’t give away power. I feel energized to be able to continue my education. I feel determined to help others find their way out of their mind traps. I feel good about myself. I know who I am! It is a pity that no one around me cares enough about my feelings to acknowledge that I am being truthful and am in fact, a loving, caring, person who is just living my life as I choose. This can also be you. The price is high, letting go of all those who do not want to believe you or who demoralize you, who brush your feelings aside as being paranoid and delusional. Forget about what they say. Be true to yourself. Educate yourself, Seek out professional help and do not stop at the first one. There are, unfortunately, some psychologists and psychiatrists who will diagnose based on external sources. If medication is needed, sometimes it is, make sure it is coupled with counselling. Medication is supposed to help you get better not suppress you and make you subservient.

Make sure you learn who you are, what you value in yourself and keep smiling! It will get better!