Shame and Guilt

Margaret Pypher

Neutral Base

Shame and guilt are necessary to help us feel remorse for past occurrences.  Many Humans use shame and guilt as a mechanism to control others and this is immoral, this is wrong.  This brief essay is an attempt to help identify with the difference between positive and negative conditioning of the instinct of shame and guilt.

Each Human is born possessing certain instincts which allow us to explore our environment safely.  Certain circumstances can cause one to feel remorse.  An example of this can be seen in the picture of the previous page.  What could have caused this man to feel remorse (guilt and shame)?

Pure speculation will ensue, but should never have a conclusion, because, truthfully, we will never know unless the person in the picture reveals their insight into his thoughts and feelings.

To me, he looks defeated.  Perhaps he lost his job and feels sad because he caused the demise.  Guilt and shame are necessary to keep us in check.  If we perform an action that we know deep down is wrong, then we should feel guilt and shame.  This allows reflection and acknowledgement of the action and should lead into rectifying the cause of the feelings and thoughts of guilt and shame so that that person can recover and become whole again.

This man is experiencing a very normal feeling that each Human on this planet possesses – remorse for loss of something or someone.  Whether he caused his own pain or if he was the end result of someone else’s agenda, he must acknowledge his inner feelings and thoughts and rectify within himself the cause of the feelings.  That may mean he could fight for his job if he had done nothing wrong.  Or, he may have lost a loved one or witnessed a shooting.  In which case, he would need to perform the same sequence of healing:

  • Acknowledgement of actions/trauma/suffrage and the feelings surrounding it at the time.
  • Acceptance of mistakes made personally, and by others who were beyond your control.
  • Acceptance that occurrences are in the past, and beyond anyone’s control so the feelings surrounding the event are irrelevant to the here and now.
  • Alleviate the anxiety of the actions/trauma/suffrage by offering forgiveness to oneself as well as any who have been affected by your actions/trauma/suffrage, thereby facing the reality of the situation that occurred.
  • Focus on healing your inner strength, your sense of being in your own identity.
  • Connect/Reconnect with society with the knowledge attributed to your identity in order to fulfil your purpose within your chosen society.

Obsession over the past gives us a false reality in which key players must continue to act according to the person who is traumatized, otherwise, the whole cascade falls apart and they must face that which they fear the most – their own mistakes.

Furthermore, when a person is caught in a false reality loop, they are susceptible to Human predators, these being the ones who create a podium for which you are to stand upon while they stand below you and throw rocks at you.

These Humans prey on other Humans who are showing, in their minds, weakness, when, really, they are showing a need for compassion and understanding, guidance and acceptance.

Unfortunately, as with all predators, Humans know their targets well and use guilt and shame to stir chaos within the very minds of their prey.  Once the seed of chaos is sown, it is nurtured with conditioning that is meant to create a false sense of security in the individual or group.

Positive and negative conditioning can be useful in order to train an animal or young child behaviour without resorting to punishment.

Predators use positive and negative conditioning to manipulate their prey.  A child may be taught a special kind of “play” with a male member of the household that is given the child as a form of pleasure for keeping their secret.  The child does not understand the positive sensations and becomes addicted to the sensations to the point where they will lie to cover up the truth.  This form of manipulation occurs every day.

Predators also use positive and negative conditioning to manipulate youth into believing they can help them achieve their goals when they mean only to harm them.  How do you sift these predators out?

Adulthood is the most difficult stage of life, approximately eighteen years and older, because, if a person has been pushing through life getting caught on all kinds of loops (that is, new or recurrence of events leading to a breakdown in the emotional and mental state of a being or group of beings), they are more susceptible to the manipulation of the predators who have grown in their own skill set.  These predators have had a lot of experience in what they do and will begin to prey on whom they feel fits into the category of “broken” and, sometimes, they purposefully cause fragmentation of the mind and/or spirit in order to gain a foothold on their prey.

These predators are in every institution, every religious/cult/spiritual gathering, every school, every hospital, everywhere.

Once they have achieved their objective, they begin to build a false sense of security within their prey but soon they begin to contradict themselves claiming never to have said certain things that were meant to give you praise or recognition.  This is because they feel guilty and shameful for what they are doing (or something they have done) but refuse to acknowledge this guilt, therefore, they will look for someone to carry their guilt and shame for them.

The best defense against these predators, in my experience, is to become whole within yourself and discover the level of self-attained gratitude that will allow you to cut the ropes these predators are throwing at you from below. In other words, strengthening your inner self will naturally give you the defense to block people from getting through to break your spirit and drive you from fulfilling your true purpose in your true identity.

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